I have a confession to make

In case you were wondering what happened to all the great smoothie recipes...long story short; my blender blew up.  Indeed, a terrible smelling cloud of smoke filled my kitchen as I was mid concoction.  I have had no luck getting Cuisinart to replace the blender even though it is still covered under factory warranty, So I am currently out of commission for the time being.  I'll keep you posted, hopefully I can get someone at Cuisinart to send me a new blender, or reimburse me so I can get a Blendtec. 

A Little Nutty

I finally used some of that coconut I had prepared earlier.  I ended up going in a different direction.  With several pounds of strawberries, I decided to make a creamy blend, or at least attempted to. 

Your Recipe, Should You Choose to Accept it:

     Scoop 1 cup of fresh coconut and add to the blender.  I let my coconut soak overnight in the fridge in a mixture of milk, cinnamon and honey.  These ingredients can be added separately to the smoothie at your taste-bud's desire.  Add 2 cups of Greek yogurt, and one frozen banana for sweetness.  Cover the concoction with 1 cup of frozen strawberries.  Top off with 2 tablespoons of vanilla bean extract.  Blend well and taste your concoction.  My concoction needed 2 glops of blackberry honey and it was just right. 

 Ingredients:

• 2 cups of Nonfat Plain Greek Yogurt
• 1 cup of fresh coconut with juice
• 1 cup Frozen Strawberries
• 1 Frozen Ripe Bananas
• 2 tablespoons of Vanilla Bean Extract
• cinnamon to taste
• Honey to taste
• 1 ounce of milk (used for storing coconut, can be added to reach desired smoothie thickness)

Yields 40 ounces containing a total of 30 grams of protein. Depending on your blender, the concoction should have a subtle nuttiness to it with a texture that instills chewing.  I wouldn't attempt this recipe with dehydrated coconut as it will probably come out terrible.

Work in Progress

So I bought some coconuts on discount.  $1.10ea,  I had to.  I just spent several episodes of 2.5 Men draining the juice and separating the flesh, I am now awaiting my fruits of my labor to chill to perfection.  I placed my coconut in plastic seal-able container with some milk, cinnamon, vanilla and honey.  After  I let it sit overnight I'll either go for a light icy beverage, or maybe go a little heavier with some dulce de leche.  By the way, nothing beats the feeling or scent of rubbing fresh coconut oil into your skin.   For hours not only have I smelled delicious, but my skin feels absolutely marvelous.  I think I could totally do the whole stranded on a deserted island thing, or at least an island inhabited by beautiful scantily clad women. 

Hawaiian Survivalist

       If you're ever lost in the wilderness of Hawaii with nothing but a machete, blender, and a power supply, then remember this recipe as if your life depended on it; because it probably will.

Your Recipe, Should You Choose to Accept it:

    Twist the top off the pineapple and stick the bromeliad into a glass of water.  Chop the pineapple into wedges or other easy shapes to work with.  If you have a superior juicer, consider juicing the skin to utilize all pulp rather than tossing it out.  Toss in 2 cups of diced skinless pineapple.  Take 2 peeled frozen bananas out of the freezer and dice them or break them into blender friendly pieces.  Dump 2 cups of frozen banana into the blender and then cover with 2 cups of coconut juice.  Top off with 2 tablespoons of vanilla bean extract.  Blend well and taste your concoction.  It should be light and somewhat mild compared to other smoothies made previously.  Absolutely great when you're in the mood for a light beverage, or when your stomach cannot tolerate much of anything.  Use riper bananas for a sweeter finished product.  Also consider using frozen pineapple. 
     Look forward to more recipes containing coconut in the future.  Coconut is actually an amazing ingredient.  It's juice is so pure that it has been used by soldiers for plasma transfusions when donor blood wasn't available.  I don't remember seeing that on LOST!.

 Ingredients:

• 2 cups of Coconut Juice
• 2 cups Frozen Bananas
• 2 cups diced Pineapple
• 2 tablespoons of Vanilla Bean Extract

Yields about 48 ounces.  Savor alone or with a friend (if you haven't eaten him already in order to survive).

Ice Cream from Scratch: Sneaky Syle

     If you have young ones in the home, you may know how difficult it can be to get them to have their daily dose of vitamins, minerals, and general nutrients.  Daily vitamin supplements are great, but it pains me to see a child go through the day with the only vegetable he or she has had being french fries.  There is a flavored milkshake-like beverage for kids that is being advertised as having a high concentration of vitamins that tastes great in order to be attractive to picky kids.  It's great once in a while, but being a proactive individual, I have devised a better option: blend up some vegetables and inject them into meals so as to not draw attention to them.  Not only have I decided to sneak vegetables into the meals of the innocent, but I have struck where little ones will least suspect it: DESSERT.

Your Recipe, Should you Choose to Accept it:

1 carrot 

1 stalk of celery, leaves and all

1 cup frozen mangoes 

1 cup frozen strawberries

1 cup Half and Half
1 cup sugar

1 Tablespoon of Vanilla

     Halve the carrot and celery and stick them into your blender when no one is looking.  I was caught and had to make up some story that I was blending something for the dog.  True Story.  Proceed to add the other ingredients in no particular order, seal blender, and hit the  ice cream button.  If your blender doesn't do ice cream with a button, set it to pulse and work your way up to the highest power level and back off as the blender reaches hard to handle areas.  The ice cream blends incredibly smooth and has a slight texture to it due to the mangoes.  If you love guayaba, this will be a delight.  If you cannot make up a good story as to why there might be an occasional green spec in the ice cream, perhaps it would be best to leave out the leaves and put them to use in another recipe.  I plan on making a good amount of ice cream in this manner in the next coming days and then freezing it.  I'll post and share how the texture and consistency holds up. 'Til then....

Yields 32 ounces. Serves 4 (1 quarter cup of vegetables per serving). 

The BOSS

Today I will reveal unto you how to make The BOSS.  Banana Orange Strawberry Smoothie.  Real simple.  Real delicious.  If you can't handle The BOSS, then you better stick with Kool-Aid. 

Your Recipe, Should You Choose to Accept it:

     Dump Greek yogurt into the blender and then cover with orange juice so fresh you have to chew it while you drink it.  Peel 2 medium bananas  and   stick them into the mixture.  Cover the concoction with 2 cups of frozen strawberries.  Top off with 2 tablespoons of vanilla bean extract.  Blend well and taste your concoction.  It should be sweet and tangy all on its own with no need to sweeten.  Use riper bananas for a sweeter finished product. 

 Ingredients:

• 2 cups of Nonfat Plain Greek Yogurt
• 1 cup of Country style Orange Juice (Country style = Lotsa Pulp)
• 2 cups Frozen Strawberries
• 2 Medium Bananas
• 2 tablespoons of Vanilla Bean Extract

Yields 48 ounces containing a total of 30 grams of protein.  Savor alone or with a friend.

Very Cherry Berry Smoothie

 

     Several weeks ago I bought some 100% cherry juice thinking, "boy, I sure love cherries, and I really like juice...I'll take it!" I got it home and poured myself some (or drank it straight from the bottle most likely) and winced a little at the medicine like beverage.  Not what I had in mind.  While at the blender today I was thinking of something healthy to make.  Next to the Aloe Vera juice was the small bottle of cherry juice.  Thinking to myself if something tastes like medicine it ought to be good for you, I decided to base my concoction around those two primary ingredients.  

Your Recipe, Should You Choose to Accept it:

     Pour your medley  of frozen berries into the blender and cover with  2 cups of nonfat plain Greek yogurt.  I choose nonfat not because I'm a fat ass or anything, but because it has 50% more protein than regular Greek Yogurt.  Also, regular has about 60% of your daily suggested fat allotment.  Add Aloe Vera juice and cherry juice into blender and stir with a spoon to mingle it with the yogurt.  Be sure to allow some liquid to surround the blades of your blender.  Add 1 tablespoon of vanilla bean extract to the mixture and top off with cherries.  My container stated that it contained 12oz. of cherries, but measured out it showed about 2.25 cups.  This information can be helpful if you purchase large quantities of cherries at a time and/or do not have a scale at home, but only a measuring cup.  Be sure that the cherries are pitted, otherwise smoothies will be the only thing you'll be drinking for quite some time.  

     Blend well and taste your concoction.  If it tastes like medicine you have followed the recipe correctly.  If it tastes wonderful, then quit while you're ahead.  I added a large glop of honey with a table spoon that was easily 2 ounces - 4 ounces.  The honey made the drink magically transform from a medicinal beverage to a guilt inducing dessert.  Aside from the honey, the vanilla is also key to making this transition.    

 Ingredients:

• 2 cups of Nonfat Plain Greek Yogurt
• 2 cups of Frozen Mixed Berries (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, etc.)
• 2.25 cups (12oz. weight) frozen Dark Sweet Cherries (pitted, of course)
• .5 cup 100% Cherry Juice
• .5 cup Aloe Vera Juice
• 1 tablespoon of Vanilla Bean Extract
• Sweeten with Honey to taste (.25 cups, give or take)

Yields 48 ounces.  Perfect for 2 hungry adults and a child, 3 modest adults, or 6 Frenchmen.  Enjoy.

Morning Coffee

      In celebration of the installation of Morning Coffee, I present to you a blended cup of jubilation!  Sometimes clearing dozens of browser tabs can feel like a daunting task; and to get you through, a little kick could be more than helpful.  If you're impatient like me, nothing is worse than having to wait to drink your beverage (except for maybe a burnt tongue).  Sitting around and huffing and puffing over a hot mug of coffee isn't how I like to spend my time.  Unless I risk death due to hypothermia, I like my drinks chilly. 

Your Recipe, Should You Choose to Accept it:

• Brew a pot of coffee.  My pot claims to contain 4 cups, yet I ended up with 500ml/16oz.  Pour a mug for yourself if you'd like, but be sure to set aside 16oz. for your Morning Coffee.  Place the designated coffee into a temperature resistant container and set it in the refrigerator.  Once the coffee has chilled, pour it into an empty ice cube tray.  Freeze.  Once frozen, each frozen cube of coffee should consist of 1 oz.   My cubes were overfilled slightly so that each cube contained 1.2 oz.
• Combine Half and Half, vanilla extract, almond extract, and cinnamon into blender and mix well.  Add frozen coffee cubes to blender and blend till smooth.  If resulting concoction is not delicious enough, spoon honey into the pitcher and blend until desired sweetness level is obtained (my preference is a heaping tablespoon). 
• Enjoy

Ingredients:

• 2 teaspoons of Vanilla Bean Extract
• 2 teaspoons of Almond Extract (start with less and add extract as needed for flavor)
• ½ teaspoon of Ground Cinnamon
• 2 ounces of Half and Half
• 6 ounces of Frozen Coffee (you favorite blend)
• Sweeten with Honey to taste. 

 

      Makes one 8 oz. serving.  I generally prefer a 16 oz. serving myself, but unless I plan on being up for hours on end, 8 is enough.  If you prefer coffee for it's flavor rather than it's caffeine, substitute decafinated coffee and drink as much as you like. 

     In the mood for something that will stick to your ribs?  How about some oatmeal!?  If you're oatmealed out and tired of diced fruit or cinnamon and spice, I have something you may be interested in.  More of a suggestion rather than a recipe, (since we all have our own preparation technique and preference for consistency) I highly recommend Raspberries and Cream oatmeal.  To achieve this flavor I used:

Totonacs Vanilla

and

Torani Raspberry Syrup  (my bottle came with a handsome giraffe on it :)

     Feel free to use actual cream as well, stomach permitting.  If raspberry syrup isn't your thing, I highly recommend Zulka Cane Sugar.  I once had a friend over when I was making something and when I opened the container where i kept my sugar, he immediately took notice and asked me what the scent in the kitchen was.  I told him that it was sugar, and he responded with a look of disbelief and bashfully asked for a spoon.  I gave him the utensil and he scooped up a spoonful and ate it straight.  It seems what I thought was good sugar turned out to be mind blowingly amazing sugar.  I grew up with professional bakers and it's what I was brought up on.  White refined sugar now tastes "fake" (and slightly disgusting) to me.

     I avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup and Palm Oil at all cost, thus I was pleased when I first discovered the cane sugar based raspberry syrup.  It provides me with the ability to whip up a quick meal without having to dirty up the blender.  I also use it on pancakes, waffles, and sometimes in my coffee.  If you're worried what the guys will think, throw your joe into a thermal coffee mug and try to keep a straight face every time you take a swig.

Concocting Concoctions like a Pro

     Perhaps some have noticed, but so far none of my concoctions involve ice.  One might think that ice is a necessary staple for any chilly blended dessert, but I disagree.  Sure ice may grant instant gratification, but what if you cannot finish your beverage in one sitting?  How it must feel to return to your concoction only to gag in dismay at the horrid taste of watered down mush.  This is why many of my recipes utilize frozen fruit.  this serves two purposes,  keeping consistency and texture to a maximum, while preventing watered down flavor.  It also serves a third purpose that may go unseen to some wielders of the blender: freezer conservation.  

     Personally, I do not have a lot of room in my freezer.  As much as I'd love a fat bucket always loaded with ice, I instead have meat, ice cream, vodka, or some other  food staple taking up space.  I don't think I've had an ice cube in my freezer in the last two to three years.   This will have to change; however, as I have a recipe in mind for an upcoming post that will require significant amounts of ice.   regardless, I tend to keep frozen fruit in my freezer rather than ice cubes, so when things start to look bleak for my fruit-bowl, into the freezer its contents go.  Gotta love damn-near alcoholic, peeled,  frozen bananas!

Breakfast, for Dinner

  Well technically, supper; considering I already had dinner.  A bit thirsty, not in the mood for water, and feeling the need to have a yellow orange product on my page, I ventured into the kitchen with smoothies on my mind.  First thing I noticed as I walk into the kitchen was a fruit bowl off to the side loaded with bananas.  Yellow it is.  I grabbed two medium sized ones and planned my attack.

Tools Required:

• A Blender
• A Drinking Straw
• A Spoon
• A Measuring Cup or a Steady Hand

Your recipe should you choose to accept it:

• 4 oz Reduced Fat Milk
• 4 oz Fat Free Plain Greek Yogurt (more protein per serving)
• 2 Medium Bananas (apx 8 oz each)
• 8 oz frozen diced mangos
• 1 Table Spoon of vanilla  (best vanilla I've ever used)

Yields 32 oz. 

  Toss everything in the blender and mix well.  The consistency will be thick and creamy, so you may need to pause periodically to push the fruit down toward the blades (make sure the blades come to a complete stop before attempting this).  While the finished product is more of an off-white than the yellow I desired, I am indeed please with the result.  The texture is a perfect blend of smooth, thick, and creamy, with a flavor that nowhere matches the color of the concoction.  The blended mangoes pack quite a punch, while the sweetness of banana leaves nothing to be desired from added sweeteners.

Breakfast of Champions

     There I was, hungry and alone.  I had to take action.  Eggs and bacon, no sir. A bowl of cereal?  not a chance, I've had enough lactose to last me a few days and I don't have any lactaid in the cabinet (yeah I'm old, sue me).  Succumbing to hunger (and laziness) I decided to blend something up; something delicious that didn't require cooking.  My key ingredient for the meal: aloe vera juice.  It's supposed to be healthy for me (not sure why) and I have the remnants of a gallon that needs to be finished off.  Alone it may taste too tangy to tollerate, but blended with an ensemble of flavors; it is delicious.

Tools Required:

• A Blender
• A Drinking Straw
• A Spoon
• A Measuring Cup or a Steady Hand

Your recipe should you choose to accept it:

• 4 oz Aloe Vera Juice
• 8 oz Fat Free Greek Yogurt (more protein per serving)
• 4 oz Hibiscus Cranberry Juice Blend [if not available, may substitute unsweetened jamaica (hibiscus) juice.]
• 6 whole fresh strawberries
• 8 oz frozen strawberries
• 8 oz frozen diced mangos
• 8 oz frozen mixed berries (blue berry, raspberry, more strawberries, etc.)
• 1-2 splashes of vanilla to tie it all together
• Sweeten to taste with agave syrup (optional)

Ice Cream Doesn't Have to be Just Ice Cream

    

+            

=   :)

Some folk are Ben and Jerry folk.  Some, Häagen-Dazs.  I, on the other hand, am Ice Cream folk.  I'd rather have a Bucket of ice cream for the same price others will pay for what I consider a mere serving.  Currently residing on one whole shelf within my freezer is an unknown amass of ice cream contained within a bucket.  That's right, not only do I have plenty of ice cream to last me a week or so, but when I consume it all I am rewarded with a handy bucket to aid me with my every day chores.  How big is this bucket you ask?  Large enough that it needs a handle.  Perhaps it only contains 1 gallon of ice cream,  but if I remember correctly it can handle 5.  then again 5 seems a bit much so I guess I'll go and see....
      (returns with bucket of ice cream) 5 quarts.  That's 4 more quarts than a standard quart of ice cream can handle.  But what about the flavor you ask?  It's simply amazining.  Sure the variety is limited; there is no Husky Ape, or Cherry Gonzales, or what have you, but to be honest all you really need is the blank canvas known as vanilla.  Currently (well up until 5 minutes ago when I had the last bite) I am sporting Cookies and Cream modified with Chocolate Wine.  I didn't even  know chocolate wine existed until last month.  To be honest, I do not like it as much as a straight desert wine, as I do a desert.  Blending in an ounce or so of chocolate wine into a serving of cookies and cream is marvelous.
     I wouldn't recommend an electronic blender if you prefer to keep your cookie pieces intact.  Now that it is clear I must replenish my  ice cream supply, I must either return to the store and purchase another Party Pail,  or perhaps I will simply purchase some cream and make my own via an Electronic Automatic Ice-Cream Maker I got for free from a neighbor who never used it.  Can you imagine,  owning a device that CREATES ice cream and never using it!?  I have churned icecream by hand in the middle of 110 degree summer heat and I cannot wait to try out this automated device.  When the process is completed I'll have an empty bucket to place my ice cream into.  Sometimes life just works out.

Hello World

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